


Kiss It Better

by EmeraldAshes



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Awesome Alana, Awkward Kissing, F/F, First Kiss, For Science!, Friends to Lovers, Jared means well, M/M, Making Out, Matchmaker Connor, Matchmaker always falls in love, Nothing weird about making out with two siblings on the same day, The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman, treebros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 02:06:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12122178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldAshes/pseuds/EmeraldAshes
Summary: Alana said, “Either Evan dislikes kissing…or he dislikes kissing Zoe. It’s simple enough to test. All you have to do is kiss more people.”Jared raised his hands in mock surrender. “Right, yeah. I see where this is going. I’m willing to fall on this grenade.”“NO!” Connor and Evan shouted simultaneously.





	Kiss It Better

**Author's Note:**

> Hints of this are sprinkled through the text, but let me prime you a bit. Think of this as the culmination of a matchmaker AU where Connor befriends Evan, agrees to help set him up with his sister, and falls for our treebro along the way.

Going on a date with Zoe wasn’t that different from hanging out with her in a group. Sure, there was a little more pressure for Evan to talk, since it was just the two of them, but Zoe was patient when he needed to think for a minute. They talked about college plans, jazz band, and school. They talked about their other friends—Alana had started an online support group for teens, Jared had gotten fired from LUSH for eating the products, Connor had just gotten his first college acceptance.

This is not a pity date, Evan reminded himself as they left the ice cream shop and walked toward a nearby park. She wouldn’t have gone out with you if she didn’t like you. She likes you. She does. And Connor set you guys up, so he isn’t mad. He isn’t. Why would he be mad? Right, he wouldn’t be, and he isn’t.

Zoe grabbed his hand, and Evan thought that maybe this wouldn’t be a complete disaster. She tugged him over toward a creek, and they watched the ducks. Then Evan realized that Zoe wasn’t looking at the ducks. She was looking at him. When he met her eyes, she stepped closer, smiling. Evan wouldn’t be a coward. He wouldn’t ruin this. He stepped closer, too, and set a hand on her shoulder. Zoe leaned in, her pretty lips parted, and Evan kissed her.

His mom had assured him that kissing would come naturally. But Evan immediately knew that he had messed it up. He pulled away. “S-sorry.”

A wide smile sprawled across Zoe’s face. She caught his gaze. “That was really good.”

She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him again, a small hand warm against his chest. Lips touched, mouths connected, and Evan felt nothing. He felt _nothing._ He broke away and took a step back. Zoe looked at him, her hand still dangling in the air where his chest had been. She was still beautiful and funny and way too good for Evan…but the giddiness, the butterflies, his whole year-long crush had been wiped away with a single kiss.

“S-sorry. I’m sorry.” Evan ran.

He desperately needed advice, but he couldn’t go to Connor, Zoe’s brother. He couldn’t go to Alana, who was more Zoe’s friend anyway. He couldn’t go to his mom, who had been so excited for him. That left only one option.

“Jared, _please,_ let me in,” Evan begged at his friend’s doorway.

Jared glanced inside, toward his living room. “Uh…no. No can do.”

“What? Are you w-watching porn?”

Jared slowly nodded. “Yeeeees.”

Evan rolled his eyes and pushed past Jared. He entered the living room just in time to hear Connor yell, “…is the ENTIRE BASIS OF OUR FRIENDSHIP!”

Connor sat on Jared’s couch, one of the Kleinman’s crocheted blankets falling from his shoulders and a gallon of ice cream on his lap. He glared at Alana, who sat primly in the recliner across from him.

Alana flicked her gaze to the doorway. “Evan, you’re here much earlier than I expected.

Connor whipped his head toward Evan. “What the hell did Zoe do?”

Evan shrunk back against the doorway. “She d-didn’t do anything.  I’m the one who, who did something.”

Connor’s eyebrows knitted together. “I’m going to kill her.”

Evan shook his head. “N-no, I’m the jerk here. I’m pr-pretty sure this time.”

“Since Connor is being derelict in his duty as Zoe’s older brother,” Alana said, “may I ask what you did, Evan?”

“I…I ran away, I guess?”

Jared came up from behind Evan, patting him on the shoulder. “The date was going that bad, huh?”

Evan blushed, eyes on the hem of his shirt as he tugged it down. “N-no. I mean, we got along, and she kissed me and everything.”

“You got the kiss”—Jared turned toward Alana and Connor—"He got the kiss. I believe this calls for a high five.”

Evan ignored Jared’s raised hand. “It was awful!”

Jared whistled. “So Zoe Murphy’s a bad kisser. Gotta admit, I didn’t see it coming.”

“I don’t think it was her fault?”

“So _you’re_ the bad kisser?”

Evan picked at his fingers. “M-maybe. I mean, I don’t know. She kissed me again, and she said it was good the first time, and our teeth didn’t clack or anything.”

“Huh,” Jared said as he dragged over a chair from the dining room and sat in it backwards. “So what the hell was the problem, then?”

“It felt like mouths touching,” Evan mumbled.

Jared looked at him like he was an idiot. “Yeah, that would be kissing.”

Evan shook his head because if that was all that kissing was, then no one would ever do it. “It _only_ felt like mouths touching. No…no…”

“Spark?” Connor said from the couch. “Fireworks? Just general attraction?”

“Y-yeah. Or no? N-none of that.”

Connor opened up his blanket, and Evan sat beside him, the warm yarn draped over his shoulders and the side of Connor’s arm firm and real against his own. Connor handed Evan the spoon he had been using. “Want some ice cream?”

Evan poked at the ice cream, lacking an appetite. “Zoe probably h-hates me now.”

“Zoe doesn’t hate you”—Alana held up her phone—“She texted.”

“Tell her to get over here,” Jared said.

“She says that she’s with friends who are biased in _her_ favor. She also just added that she’s not counting me in the ‘biased toward Evan’ group,” Alana said with a giggle. “That’s sweet of her. I think I’m going to send a smiley face.”

Evan reluctantly took a bite of the ice cream. It was chocolatey, with chunks of candy bar inside. “C-Connor?”

Connor looked at him, and Evan couldn’t help noticing his eyes. They were blue, like Zoe’s, but with a patch of warm brown in the corner of his right eye. They were more of an almond shape than his sister’s, which made him look squinty when he was angry, but made him seem even happier during the rare moments when he smiled.  Evan looked away from Connor’s eyes after a long moment, gaze falling to the couch cushions. The black paint on Connor’s fingernails was mostly scratched off. That wasn’t his worst coping mechanism, not by a longshot, but it wasn’t a good sign.

Evan wiped a smudge of ice cream from the corner of his mouth. “Are you okay? I, I mean, w-why are you eating ice cream on Jared’s couch?”

Connor licked his lips, quick and nervous like a lizard. “I don’t want to talk about me right now. Can we just focus on you?”

Evan bumped his shoulder against Connor’s, giving him a little smile. “Okay, um, so apparently I hate kissing? And, and what kind of monster hates kissing?”

“You, apparently,” Jared said.

Connor maneuvered the spoon out of Evan’s hands and dug it into the ice cream. “Shut up, Jared.”

“There’s nothing wrong with not liking traditional kissing, Evan,” Alana said. “It’s merely a sexual preference…On that note, is it possible you’re asexual?”

Evan felt himself blushing. “I’m not asexual.”

Alana tapped on her phone case as her mind whirred. “Are you sure? That would explain—”

“Alana,” Evan’s strained voice said. “Not. Asexual.”

Jared grinned. “She’s not gonna believe you until you whip it out.”

Evan hid his face in his hands, groaning.

“Perhaps you just lacked chemistry?” Alana said.

Evan reluctantly raised his face to look at her. “W-what?”

Alana bounced a bit with her desire to explain. “If the technical aspects of the kiss were reasonable and Zoe enjoyed it _and_ you aren’t asexual, then either you dislike kissing…or you dislike kissing Zoe.”

“I really don’t want to hate kissing,” Evan said.

“It’s simple enough to test. All you have to do is increase your sample size”—At Evan’s blank look, she clarified—“kiss more people.”

Evan collapsed against Connor, groaning. “So I’m never going to find out, then.”

Alana smiled. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Evan. You’re a very handsome young man. We can test it right now.”

Evan felt his face heating up again and contemplated burying it in the ice cream. “A-are you t-trying t-t-to say…?”

Jared began a slow clap. “Alana Beck, swooping in to grab Zoe’s leftovers.”

Alana crossed her legs and folded her hands atop them. “I didn’t mean me.”

“Ouch.” Jared reached across the coffee table to pat Evan’s knee.

“No offense intended. My heart belongs to another, I’m afraid.”

“W-wait,” Evan said. “Who? Someone we know?”

“That’s irrelevant,” Alana said. “Evan believes he’s bisexual, so I am not the only option here.”

Evan’s heart stopped. “Jared! I told you that in confidence.”

Jared winked. “Buddy, from now on, if you tell me something, you can be _confident_ that I’ll tell everybody.”

Evan’s stomach twisted. He pushed through the nausea and quickly said, “Um, I know this is probably a stupid thing to ask, but is everyone okay with—”

“Of course,” Alana said.

“Evan, _I’m_ gay,” Connor said.

“I didn’t…you’re gay?”

Connor’s eyes widened. “You didn’t know? I figured the whole school knew.”

“I’m n-not really attached to the school gossip network. Except through Jared, I guess”—Evan turned to Jared—“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“The Sucking Connor’s Dick jokes weren’t made in a vacuum. You’re the one who never followed up.”

Connor’s expression darkened, his grip half-crushing the ice cream. “The _what_?”

Alana snapped her fingers. “Can we return our attention to the original topic?”

“Jared st-stealing my coming out because of his big mouth?” Evan glared at him.

“I like to think of it as saving you a lot of stress,” Jared said.

“What if someone hadn’t been okay with it? What if, what if they hated me or wanted to hurt me, or—”

Jared didn’t meet Evan’s eyes. “You’re overthinking it.”

“Fuck off,” Connor said.

Jared glared at him. “You’re not even part of this argument!”

Alana cleared her throat. “We were going to test the ‘Evan hates kissing’ hypothesis.”

“With one of us,” Connor said.

Jared raised his hands in mock surrender. “Right, yeah. I see where this is going. I’m willing to fall on this grenade.”

“NO!” Connor and Evan shouted simultaneously.

Evan continued. “I’ve know you since we were, like, five! You’re like a brother to me. A-and did you just compare kissing me to a _grenade_?”

Jared said, “Figure of speech. I’m sure you’re a great kisser.”

Alana tapped on her smartphone. “Zoe confirms it.”

“Jesus,” Connor grumbled. “She isn’t even here, and she’s still monopolizing the conversation.”

Jared snorted. “Yeah, like you have any room to talk. What exactly was your issue with me kissing Evan, again?”

Connor burrowed into the blankets, shifting slightly away from Evan’s body. “You’re like a brother to him.”

“Well, aren’t you—”

“Also you’re an asshole,” Connor said with more conviction.

Alana defused the brewing shouting match. “By process of elimination, Connor should kiss Evan.”

Jared crossed his arms over the back of his chair and rested his chin on them, face taken up by a shit-eating grin. “Pucker up, bitches.”

Connor’s rushed “Evan, you don’t have to do this” intertwined with Evan’s “It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

Alana held up a hand, her eyes flicking between them. “Do either of you have an objection that _isn’t_ that the other person might not like it?”

Evan picked at the soft fringe of the blanket. “I-it might hurt our friendship?”

Alana said, “I’m vetoing that one.”

Connor gripped the couch cushion. “You don’t get a fucking veto. It’s our friendship.”

“You’ll be fine. I have no doubt of it, and I’ve been told I’m quite perceptive”—Alana took a deep breath, before giving them a sunny smile—“Any other objections? I’ll accept ‘I’m not attracted to him’ or even ‘I don’t want to kiss him…”

“Not that that’s gonna be a problem for you two,” Jared said.

“…All I ask is that you _think_ about it first.”

Connor absentmindedly scraped off the last specks of polish clinging to his thumbnail. His eyes, fixed on Jared’s turned-off TV were slightly dilated, his breaths heavy. His cheeks held a slight flush. His body radiated warmth beneath their shared blanket.

Evan’s stomach was unsettled, his breathing too fast, his heart squeezed. He felt anxious, but not afraid. He had never been afraid of Connor. “No. N-no objections. D-do you have any?”

Connor stared into Evan’s eyes for a moment, his breath ghosting across Evan’s lips, his pupils large. His tongue darted out to wet his lips. Then, Connor lunged forward. He was forceful at first, but then he backed off a little. He tasted like chocolate and smoke, his cologne smelled almost sour, and his lips were so soft. His hand settled on the crook of Evan’s neck, thumb pressing gently beside his friend’s Adam’s apple. Connor moaned into his mouth when Evan’s hands tangled in long hair. Evan shivered, but his skin was on fire.

Slowly, reluctantly, Evan pulled away for air, euphoria dancing in his chest. Connor gave him a lopsided smile, tentative, his hair messy, and Evan pulled him in for another kiss.

“Well,” Alana’s distant voice said. “This has been fruitful.”

A few minutes later, Jared dragged Evan off Connor. “Look, I’m trying to be a good wingman here, but you two need to find someplace else to fuck.”

Evan fought back a whimper, his lips tingling. “W-we’re not…”

Jared shepherded him toward the door, Connor trailing behind them with a dazed look. “Dude, I don’t need to know what’s going on in your khakis right now, but I know _exactly_ what’s going on in your khakis right now. Shoo.”

Standing on the Kleinmans' doorstep, Evan bowed his head but peeked up at Connor. “I…um, y-you’re my best friend, but I just, I really l-liked kissing you. I like kissing you.”

Connor’s face was still flushed. He dragged a shaky hand through his hair. “You were just on a date with my sister.”

“I, I know.” Evan gulped. That was weird, wasn’t it? It was weird. He was being weird.

“I was really fucking jealous.” Connor’s thumb stroked Evan’s lips.

Evan leaned into Connor’s touch, his heartbeat fluttering. “My M-Mom’s not g-gonna be home for a while.  Do you m-maybe want to go to my house? We could, um…”

Connor grinned as he draped an arm over Evan’s shoulder, guiding him toward his car. “Put on a movie and watch none of it?”

Evan kissed Connor’s jaw, humming happily at the taller boy’s soft gasp. “I was gonna say make out, but yeah, that works too.”

**Author's Note:**

> The first half of this is based on my first going-so-well date. Unlike Evan, however, I stuck out the not-quite-relationship until the awful kisses completely eroded my infatuation like three weeks in. Here’s the part of this A/N where I’d like to chuckle and say, “Oh, high school,” but this literally happened four months ago. 
> 
> (On that note, were the kissing descriptions okay? I have some real world makeout sessions to draw from here, but my experience with the actual kisses was so bad that lip smacking noises still make me flinch a little).


End file.
